Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Mom said you looked used
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
