she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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