i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
