There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
