Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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