ugly people sure do ruin things
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
