so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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