either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i drank out of a bidet.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize