Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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