I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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