just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
