and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
