i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
