the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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