grandma shit on top of the toilet
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
