something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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