Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
