he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
