let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
