Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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