We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
