Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
