Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
