My room smells like vodka and shame
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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