If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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