I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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