Duck Duck Cougar?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
