I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
