Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
