Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
