so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
