Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize