awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
