id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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