I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
