so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
