Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
