You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
