Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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