Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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