Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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