just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
40s are totally the cure
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
