I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
