Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
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