The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize