you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
