I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
