I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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