is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
