just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
