I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
