Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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