I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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