She's JV to your varsity
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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