Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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