also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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