I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
