i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
