it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
