from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
