i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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