I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I understand Curling. That high.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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