bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
