yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
