I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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