I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
