you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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